[ What she wants is to hold onto this small, unexpected happiness as long as she can, to make Lewin as happy as she can while she can because it's not like they were going to have forever even before that realization had dawned as she'd walked the streets of Lunatia searching for him during Iris. Her heart swells and bobs with that honest answer to some distant question and she sighs yet again, shaking her head, giving a reddening cheek a good, firm smack.
"You're too tired," that's what she wants to tell that foolish thing. "Rest a little longer and maybe someday --"
Someday what? She'll choke on that heart of hers long before that. Hasn't she learned? It's big, bigger than she wants anyone to know, and wild. Even its cage can't keep it. It will absolutely leap into her throat with feelings that don't, won't quiet and when it all disappears before her eyes, she'll be left standing here with regret upon regret.
Probably.
Breathe, it's -- no, he's here. Calm down.
Iris began some two weeks ago and she's only been looking this in the face for a few short days now. There are only so many things she's certain about. ]
That's my line, you know.
[ Couldn't have said it better herself, she thinks. Selfish is the proper way to live. Everyone, everything lives some kind of selfish or it dies before the desires of some other being in some unkind way. That is nature. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live and pursuing that desire earnestly. She has where so many wish she'd fail, but to hear those words returned to her so many days after she gifted them to him takes her aback. Makes her heart twist in its cage as she draws her knees to her chest in the tub and shoots a half-lidded glance at her device. ]
It isn't love, but [ but, she echoes, and there's a small, slight smile for some reason, ] it's pretty stupid, huh?
[ Like wanting to peel on top of Lewin and bury her face in his chest right now. Her face is red? The bath was hot. Just let her stay there for a bit. He doesn't care and she's tired. ]
no subject
"You're too tired," that's what she wants to tell that foolish thing. "Rest a little longer and maybe someday --"
Someday what? She'll choke on that heart of hers long before that. Hasn't she learned? It's big, bigger than she wants anyone to know, and wild. Even its cage can't keep it. It will absolutely leap into her throat with feelings that don't, won't quiet and when it all disappears before her eyes, she'll be left standing here with regret upon regret.
Probably.
Breathe, it's -- no, he's here. Calm down.
Iris began some two weeks ago and she's only been looking this in the face for a few short days now. There are only so many things she's certain about. ]
That's my line, you know.
[ Couldn't have said it better herself, she thinks. Selfish is the proper way to live. Everyone, everything lives some kind of selfish or it dies before the desires of some other being in some unkind way. That is nature. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live and pursuing that desire earnestly. She has where so many wish she'd fail, but to hear those words returned to her so many days after she gifted them to him takes her aback. Makes her heart twist in its cage as she draws her knees to her chest in the tub and shoots a half-lidded glance at her device. ]
It isn't love, but [ but, she echoes, and there's a small, slight smile for some reason, ] it's pretty stupid, huh?
[ Like wanting to peel on top of Lewin and bury her face in his chest right now. Her face is red? The bath was hot. Just let her stay there for a bit. He doesn't care and she's tired. ]